Liar, liar pants on fire.

“Mommy! Mommy! The tooth fairy didn’t come.”

Right. I knew there was something I forgot to do last night.

And this is how we start the day. H close to tears and Daren and I locking eyes, simultaneously mouthing the F word.

Did I mention it’s not even 6:30 am?

Did I also mention the tooth had already been lost several times, including once at the bottom of the pool?

"A little to the left Daddy. I think it's over there."

“A little to the left Daddy. I think it’s over there.”

All last night this thing was coveted like the Hope Diamond. I even dreamt about an old lady on the side of ship, standing in her jammies, on tippy toe, throwing Harmony’s tooth into the ocean. Which was okay because at that point I’d fitted it with a GPS tracker and insured it with Lloyd’s of London.

I had one job after the girls fell asleep, and I failed miserably. Now I know how Al Cowlings felt 20 years ago. YOU HAD ONE JOB.

white bronco

But all was not lost. Daren managed to slip a few toonies under her pillow for her to find before school, so thanks to some trickery, dishonesty and a modest cash payment to our 7 year old, the day was back on track. Now I’m forced to wonder…. If my 7 year old is that gullible, what can I put over on the 4 year old? Broccoli tastes like chocolate? Pizza is good for you? There will be plenty of money left for you to go to college? The possibilities are endless.




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